Procrastination: How to Get Nowhere Fast

Lately I have been thinking about changing careers, which has led me re-evaluate my skills, and I have realized that I am incredibly skilled at procrastination. I am so skilled, in fact, that I am able to not only put off the unpleasant tasks in life (putting away the dishes, cleaning out the cat box, clipping my toenails), but I am also fascinatingly good at putting off the enjoyable things (calling up an estranged friend, writing on my blog, taking a shower). You could say that I am an equal-opportunity procrastinator, universally skilled in the area of procrastination, able to put off leaping tall buildings with a single bound.

Now, procrastination has gotten a pretty bad wrap over the years, so let's take a moment to look at the merits of procrastination. When you procrastinate, you are literally not doing what you don't want to do! What's wrong with this? And who is to judge me if I don't feel like taking out the garbage??? This sounds suspiciously like self-care to me! Procrastination is also such a positive word--just look at the spelling--who ever heard of something negative starting with the prefix "pro?"

As it turns out, a lot of the things that seem unpleasant, and are therefore procrastinated, would actually be pleasant in the long run. For example, if I actually got around to cleaning out the catbox, we would have a much more pleasant living environment and we could quit burning all of those candles all of the time. Those candles drip all over the place, and I, for one, am not going to clean that up! On second thought, forget what I said before. Yuck! Chores sound unpleasant for a reason!

All of the above has convinced me that I should narrow my job search to those jobs that have procrastination in the list of required skills. I know I am qualified--it took me three weeks just to write this post! I don't know if it is possible to procrastinate procrastination, but if it is I know I can do it. If there is a job for a procrastinator, I would be perfect for it--if only I could get around to applying...